5.07.2012

Scared Famous

I wasn't so nervous for the New York debut of Listen To Your Mother, mostly because the other presenters were pros at doing this and made everything seem just so easy.

I wasn't nervous when MetroNorth broke down and delayed all trains in and out of Grand Central "indefinitely," because I, for once in my life, was early and had indefinite time to wait. Or at least 3 extra hours.

I wasn't nervous when MetroNorth buttholes suspended all trains in and out of New York at 8:30 Sunday morning, and announced in Charlie Brown Teacher Voice that we should look for another mode of transportation, and they apologize for any inconvenience.

I wasn't too-too nervous when Kid2 had her debut city driving adventure to pick up a stranded mom anxious to get to her big time playdate with some very important writers.

I wasn't nervous when I arrived 90 minutes late for the final walk through, with practically everyone gone for lunch and wardrobe change, because the very talented director Amy Wilson, powerhouse emcee René Syler and last writer standing Deborah Goldstein stuck around to hold my somewhat sweaty hand.

I wasn't nervous when I discovered the Green Room isn't green, and the other writers had brought pens, gifts, makeup, curling irons, protein bars, scissors, duct tape, three hole-punch, lint brush, deodorant, tissues, moisturizer, water bottles, and the one and only Kathy Curto as a tribute to her parents, remembered good luck charms: her mom's handkerchief and her dad's black shoe polish. Not nervous because these superstars shared everything from their confidence to their lipstick with this mom who was blotting the wrong color lipstick on a Walgreens receipt from her purse.

I wasn't nervous when producer Varda Steinhardt handed out a special bracelet I will forever treasure, and the leaders of this cast, gave us all charms that said simply, Listen, with handwritten notes thanking us, like we did something for them. And Amy Wilson gave a pre-game pep talk so heartfelt, so filled with gratitude, I felt somehow I had done something for her. Not nervous at all.

But when we queued up to enter the sold out house, I was placed between the über talented Una LaMarche and clean-up hitter Jonny Schremmer, and began to panic. Really, really, heart palpitation, sweaty pit, cotton mouth panic; gonna probably throw up or crap my pants panic.

I looked to Jonny with authentic terror: "I can't do this. I really can't do this."

She smiled. She didn't say much. Calm, cool, collected. With good lipstick.

The line was moving. People were clapping. My head was spinning. It was like I was underwater.

I turned around, desperate:

"You know when you're on the roller coaster and it's going up, up, up and suddenly you realize you've made a terrible mistake and YOU HATE ROLLERCOASTERS and you really, really want OFF RIGHT NOW??? I have that feeling, now, right now, I can't do this."

Jonny nodded, and gently pushed me forward, because the house was packed, and the ride had already started.

And when it was finished?

It was like this, except a thousand times better:


27 comments:

  1. Congrats to you! And you got to sit next to Una? Bravo!

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    1. Hey! Where are the orange pants!?

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    2. Una was brilliant. And she only looks 12; good gene pool that woman! No orange pants!!! I did not want to hear "told you so" for the rest of my life!

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  2. Am so proud to be related to you... It's good to know that you aren't super human and have some doubts... Also good to know that you "suck it up" and get it done! You like Roller Coasters!

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    1. No I don't! Like roller coasters, that is. But I so loved this! And "suck it up" is my all time parenting motto. :)

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  3. Damn it woman i KNEW you would kick ass and be marvelous. and you look awesome!

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    1. You my sunshiney friend, are the very best invisible force field friend a girl could have.

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  4. Stunning every bit of it- moving, impactful, funny and most of all, for me, difference-making. Way to go!!

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  5. You were so absolutely, incredibly awesome and I couldn't be more proud of you!!! - RAH

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  6. YAY!!!! you were SO GOOD, like you just belonged up there! Stay on the stage Kate..it's your home for sure.

    thank you for being part of my life and my "village", I stand in awe of you. xo

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  7. I was SO WORRIED when you were stuck without a train, and you arrived SO CALM, it was completely inspiring - and if you were nervous onstage no one could tell - you did absolutely beautifully. I'll remember your story, always.

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    1. The best lead off batter a team could have! You rock!

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  8. You were magnificent - as I knew you would be! Was wonderful getting to know you through the show. Can't wait for our reunion party at Alysias!

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    1. Producer extraordinaire. Thanks for making everything so fabulouso!

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  9. This is making me cry. Your bravery. Your courage. Your exhilaration when I met you.

    You know what I loved so much? When you looked right at me and said "Hi Ann." before your reading.

    You were fantastic. I'm so glad you were up on that stage and you did it. I loved meeting you and your family.

    Congratulations!!

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    1. Thanks for making room in your roadshow for folks like me. And your mom? Awesome! (sorry about the sweaty pits airing out thing... probably not my finest moment)

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  10. Congrats I loved your story and I am SO glad you made it, Love from Philly LTYM

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    1. Thanks Philly! And good luck to you -- remember tissues, deodorant, water bottles and lipstick. And curling irons, lint brushes, your notes, a pen, tampons, a cell phone charger, and .... aw, screw it. Just show up, let the other writers bring the green room rations!

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  11. And all the incredible women you met! Had you said no, you'd NEVER have met such amazingness.

    Anne Flournoy WOW

    Amy Wilson LOVE

    Una? LOVE me my Una.

    Ann: she already knows I'd lay across RR tracks for her.

    And my girl, Varda: the most authentic woman ON THE PLANET.

    You have seriously created your own blessings, but stepping to the edge of your beliefs and jumping in.

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    1. Can we be friends? Or should I just steal all of yours?

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  12. It's true. Jonny had really good lipstick!

    My friends and family who were at the show are now members of your fan club. You should charge them a membership fee. They'd pay! Hope you're still floating from a truly beautiful performance.

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  13. You owned it. You rocked it. You deserved to be up there just as much as everyone else. Kudos!

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  14. Absolutely love this! Participating in the SF version of this show has been the ultimate ride. I still can't quite get past it, and can't wait for the videos to come out so I can watch them all!

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