Career Day Comes Calling ... Me!

I really do work in my pjs.
The middle school called me, and because I work from home at the dining room table with a Bernese Mountain Dog's head in my lap and the heat turned on because husband does NOT work at home and what he doesn't know won't hurt him (he lives by some barbaric fraternity house rule No Heat 'til Thanksgiving), I answered the phone. Because it was the school on caller ID and not a client I was trying to dodge. Or my sister.

I really expected a forgotten saxophone. Or, perhaps, an anxiously awaited first period so perhaps the mood swings would be put in check. Or even a plea for a coveted "parent pick up" to avoid the hour bus ride maze to make the entire 3.2 mile trip home.

But it wasn't anything like that. 

And it wasn't because I had a kid puking in the nurses office. Or crying in the locker room. Or skipping 'learning lab' to learn even more about life in extended lunch.

Nope, they didn't want to talk about my kid at all. They didn't want to talk about the two that already went through or the one still waiting in the wings.

They wanted to talk to me. Not Mamma-me, but Worker-me. "So I hear you're a writer," says the guidance counselor on the phone.

"You talkin' to me? You. Talkin'. To. Me? Calling me a ... a writer?" 
It was delicious.

Oh, now I get it. They want a freebie. Flyer. Newsletter. Cards. Dance theme. Fundraiser. A brochure to buy some goats in Africa. Or a promo for parents to not drive over kids in the parking lot. No prob.

"Sure, what would you like?"

They wanted nothing. They wanted me. 

The middle school asked me to come speak at Career Day. Me. Like I have a career or something. Which I don't. I have a job. Or seven. Enough to fill my day between bus stops to pay for the cleats and swim fins. And I graciously explain, I'm not that kind of writer.

You know. A real writer.

Kids in middle school say writer and immediately think JK Rowling. Meg Cabot. Rick Riordan. Horowitz. Adults think everybody can write for Oprah. Or publish like Picoult. Or why don't I write for The Daily Show? Like Stewart is hiring from craigslist. People. Please.

They don't think dental care. 
Aviation companies. 
Financial services.
Golf courses. 
Boring, boring, boring.

But I do have this blog. Which started as a gig for Women@WorkNetwork but is now not quite so boring. And I could teach them a bit about that. The little bit that I know. Which is A. Very. Little. Bit.

But I can't do it. It is Parent's Weekend and we're heading to see #1 who has been gone forever. And we miss her. And while I want to do Career Day more than I want to write for Jon Stewart, I want to see kid #1 even more. So I declined for this year. But maybe, just maybe, they'll invite me back next year. And by then I just may have a career.


  1. next you'll be a mentor or having a high school intern working under you or selling your book on Oprah!

  2. Wow, bloggers getting respect...I think I see a pig flying by my window...lol.

  3. invitation onl, respect not included! And invite not for the blogging, but rather the paying gigs. But kids don't care much about dermatology brochures, so I'd sneak in the responsible grown up job disguised as blogging!

  4. Congratulations! Or, is this one of those dubious distinctions... I wonder.

  5. not sure myself, but taking as huge compliment at this stage of the game!

  6. I need Career Day at my school, I mean office, I mean house...I really need to learn to write. Really, seriously. I have a phobia. I'm only commenting here b/c I read somewhere that it's a good idea ;) I'm trying. My nine year old can write; he's good. Please do a blog about how to write. "DO" a blog?! UGH. DO-ing is for other, funner things..."Funner"? SEE?!#writingphobic Is phobic a word? Good grief. Oh I'll supply margaritas & a non-chlorinated atmosphere. Unless you bring amazing Swimmer/Runner and then you'll be writing by yourself. Cuz I'll even swim before trying to write.